Taking Tums? Did you ever think about what happens to that almost indigestible calcium that coats your stomach for a few minutes?
It ends up laying a nice bed of tile in your arteries. And as a nice bonus some complimentary kidney & gall stones.
Of course another option as a nice stocking stuffer to tame your heartburn could be to take some proton pump inhibitors—especially nice if your goal is to be infected with h-pylori for x-mas.