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Your Bowel Is Your Boss

poop-311256_1280Who rules? I’ll tell you who rules. Your butt does.

How about when you want to go to a movie and catch a bite—–but are too afraid of having urgent diarrhea or embarrassing gas on that 1st date?

How about when you can’t wear that new outfit you bought on sale because every time you eat you become 9 months pregnant?

How about that rumbling stomach noise in the meeting today?

How about when they kicked you out of the car pool because you couldn’t help cutting the cheese.

How about the fact they they created “Car Pass’-which allows you to barrel through the toll booth and hurtle yourself into the next rest stop to fend off your projectile diarrhea?

How about the fact the you haven’t had a bowel movement—flat out-locked down constipated – since the Roosevelt administration?

How about when you eat anything with acid or that is rich you feel like you have a blow torch in your esophagus. Acid Reflux-Heartburn or did you swallow a Bunsen Burner?

How about the fact that you thought mucus only came out of your nose?

How about the fact that you have to keep your fingers crossed hoping the blood in your stool is from a hemorrhoid?

How about if you are none of the above you are a freak in our society?

Remember the saying—‘Being led around by your —butt.’

If this applies to you—tell me—who is the boss?

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